Mine is not a river it is an ecosystem

Author Bio: Katie Munday, University of Portsmouth

Katie is a first-year PhD student, their study is entitled: Exploring Health and Social Care Inequities for Transgender and Gender Diverse Autistic Adults Living in the UK. They are a community researcher on projects that explore the healthcare experiences of transgender and Disabled people. They are a co-founder of Autistic Substance Use Network – a network that aims to address the gap in knowledge in the understanding of Autistic substance use and its impact on policy and services. Katie is based at the University of Portsmouth in the School of Psychology, Sport and Health Sciences.

Katie shares their experiences as a researcher (and human being!) on their website: https://autisticltd.co.uk/

Blog:

At this year’s first cohort meeting, we were asked to create a visual metaphor, a river of our PhD journey. These rivers could have tributaries, bridges, oxbow lakes and other features that represent issues and experiences along the way. It took me more than a few minutes to put pencil to paper, to find that my research is not a river but an ecosystem. An ecosystem with fields, a large textured tree in the foreground, and a scruffy pond surrounded by wildlife. A hill with a fence, a patch of flowers, a big smoking tractor and a cloud raining down on the fields.

It took me a while to understand what my art showed me: my PhD crosses too many parts of my life for it to simply be a river. My area of study: Exploring Health and Social Care Inequities for Transgender and Gender Diverse Autistic Adults Living in the UK, is professional, academic and deeply personal. The ecosystem of this study has been growing for a long time, it started with the realisation that I am not the gender I was told at birth, followed by my late realisation of being Autistic. This wild landscape of lived experience now encompasses more people, places and ideas through participatory action research.

What does my picture mean?

The tractor is the steady hum of systems – funding, monitoring, and changes in society. The tractor is reliable and does not stray off course, this brings consistency but not enough flexibility for participatory research.

The rolling hills in the distance are places yet explored, they give more space for the ecosystem to change and grow. The raincloud helps with growth but can also bring thunderstorms that stop and start the process at the most inconvenient times! Covid-19 brought many additional tractors to these fields and more than one of the fields lies baron from the legacy of UK lockdowns.

The pond is my lived experience it brings strength and richness to my research ecosystem. The pond is also made from the stories entrusted to me by participants and co-researchers. Together, we must paddle carefully within the pond’s murky depths to navigate potential emotional deluge.

The fence on the hill is my boundaries, keeping myself and those I work with safe.

The flowers are participants I’ve worked with – every story blooms a new thought and idea within my research field. The knowledge and love from this community garden is powerful, emotional and beautiful.

The giant oak is the supervisors and team members I have worked with – strong and knowledgeable, happy to educate and learn as we grow together. Our co-created knowledge ties knots in the bark of the tree. The fruits of our labour are in the canopy just out of reach, reminding us that a researcher’s work is never done.

Despite my discomfort with metaphors, my picture told me a lot. Participatory research is so much more than the expansion of knowledge. It is greater still than the people privileged enough to engage with it. The ecosystem of participatory research is community and connection. It includes learning, unlearning, challenging and dismantling power dynamics, systems and structures that negatively impact us all. It is dreaming about, and taking steps towards, a future that is accessible and inclusive, facilitating empowerment for those of us who have been stripped of our power. My research is an ecosystem of love, knowledge and connection, a mere river couldn’t even.